As a manager are you uncomfortable with giving negative feedback to employees? Do you always seem to find a way to delay, distort or “water down” negative feedback? Do you always give the employee the benefit of the doubt? It is more common than you may think but ignoring serious signs of poor employee performance can be very damaging to the business, employee and your reputation as manager. This is particularly so when the problem areas remain uncorrected for long periods of time.
Surveys suggest that over 60% of employees claim that their managers do not provide regular performance feedback. Many organisations have an annual performance review process but the long time lag between receiving feedback can result in the employee having difficulty in connecting the feedback with the so-called poor performance. Any benefit of a performance review process may be negated by the conflict avoiding manager in any case because they will not provide accurate, albeit negative feedback. A common outcome of this feedback gap is that the employee’s perception of their own performance is far removed from that of the manager.
There may be a number of drivers for a conflict avoiding manager.
- The manager might see the performance problems as temporary and will simply resolve themselves. Why confront the employee if the problem will go away soon?
- The manager is led to believe that the poor performing employee has little control over their performance.
- The manager easily accepts an employee’s excuses for failure or poor performance as a way to avoid providing negative feedback.
- The manager believes that the employee will react defensively to negative feedback.
- The employee’s self esteem and self efficacy may be threatened by the negative feedback.
- The manager has a “nurturing” style of leadership and desires to be supportive regardless of the facts.
- The manager has a strong need for approval of the employees.
Strategies for the conflict avoiding manager
1. Understand the employee’s use of self-serving bias.
2. Understand all potential causes of poor performance.
3. Increase psychological distance to gain objectivity.
4. Practice active listening and let the employee control the dialogue.
5. Understand that negative feedback can be non-threatening.
6. Give negative feedback in a timely manner so the employee can make the connection. Always give negative feedback privately.
7. Maintain a learning mindset.
8. Make use of a rehearsed script to reduce discomfort levels.
9. Follow the “DASR” framework (describe, acknowledge, specify, reaffirm)
10. It’s all about ownership.
The DASR plan in particular is very useful for the conflict avoiding manager. It is a framework often seen in management programs and also used for family counselling. This feedback strategy will provide the manager a script which will assist to reduce the discomfort in providing negative feedback. An example of how is works is as follows.
Describe – You are consistently failing to return reports to me by the due date.
Acknowledge – This is very frustrating for me as I need to provide collated reports to our client.
Specify – I would really appreciate it if you could provide all reports to me by the due date.
Reaffirm – You are an important member of our team and I need your valued input to ensure our reports of a high standard.
The views expressed in this post are those of the author and do not reflect those of other individuals or organisations.
Tony Grima